🗣️The Speaker and Listener's Guide

Lewis Bartelle
Oct 16
4 min read

Your Toolkit for Overcoming Dysarthria's Social Struggle

Hey friends, I’m Lewis, and I want to talk about the simple, profound need to be understood.

When I had my stroke, my whole world changed. For a while, my mind was focused on the big, visible challenges—learning to walk again, figuring out how to get through my day-to-day. But as I started to find my footing, I noticed something else was different, something that affected the very core of who I was: the way I spoke.

My words, which once flowed effortlessly, now came out slow, slurred, and sometimes strained. This new reality had a name: dysarthria.

I know firsthand how isolating this can feel. The frustration of having a clear thought in your mind but an unclear sound coming out can be unbearable. But I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. My journey has taught me that Dysarthria Communication is a two-way street, and with a few simple tools, we can all connect better.

Understanding the Challenge: My Speech, My Story

When my doctors first explained dysarthria to me, it felt like a heavy medical term, but the reality is quite simple: it’s a motor speech disorder. The damage from my stroke affected the part of my nervous system that controls the muscles I use to talk—my tongue, lips, jaw, and even my breathing.

This doesn't mean I’ve forgotten words or how to put a sentence together. It simply means the "control panel" for my speech muscles isn’t working quite t

he same way.

The signs of dysarthria can be different for everyone, but for me, it was:

Slow, Slurred Words: I often felt like I couldn't move my mouth quickly enough.

Breathy/Raspy Voice: My voice would sometimes sound breathy or strained, making volume control difficult. I've had a lot of people assume I'm yelling when I'm just trying to talk a little louder.

This journey is a common one. It’s estimated that a significant number of stroke survivors—30-50%—experience dysarthria at some point. Knowing this statistic helped me realize that what I was going through, while incredibly personal, was also a shared experience among a huge community of resilient people.

The Social Struggle: Assumptions and Silent Nods

The hardest part of living with dysarthria has nothing to do with my voice itself, but with how people react to it. People hear me talk and automatically assume that I’m not "right." We have to deal with how quickly people are to judge us.

The worst offender is the "silent nod." It's that moment when you're talking, and the other person just smiles and nods politely, as if they completely understood everything you just said. They might not want to make you feel uncomfortable, but what they're doing is making an assumption. And when assumptions are made, the real meaning is lost.

I've been through the drive-thru many times, when they guess your order instead of asking for a repeat, it just comes out completely wrong. It's a small thing I know, but it’s an everyday reminder of the challenges we face when others prioritize speed and politeness over genuine understanding. If you're struggling with the emotional weight of this, check out my article on [The Unseen Battle Over Inner Frustration] (internal link).

Essential Guide: Mastering Dysarthria Communication

Communication is a two-way street, requiring patience and technique from both sides. Here is the toolkit for better Dysarthria Communication:

For Me, the Speaker (Finding Clarity)

We must own our half of the conversation by being intentional and giving ourselves grace.

Pace Myself: This is critical. I consciously try to speak slowly and take my time. A little pause between words helps my mouth catch up with my brain and aids with clarity (this can be very tough if we're rushed).

Use Gestures (Play Charades): I embrace body language! Sometimes, I’ll use my hands to emphasize a point or point to what I’m talking about.

Manage My Breath & Pause: Dysarthria often affects breath control. I constantly sound out of breath and have to pause frequently. I've learned to make a clear motion that indicates "I'm not finished" when pausing to catch my breath.

Don't Be Afraid to Repeat Myself: I’ve learned to say, “Let me say that again,” when I can tell someone is struggling. It's always better than allowing assumptions.

For You, the Listener (Genuinely Hearing)

The most helpful people in our life's have mastered the art of listening.

Patience is Key: Try to create a calm and clear environment for our conversation. Don't rush me or interrupt.

Give the 3-4 Second Count: When we slow down and articulate, the moment we pause to breathe is often taken as your window to talk. Give us a 3-4 second count before responding to ensure we are fully done with our thought. Rushing us breaks the focused speech pattern we work hard to maintain.

Encourage, Don't Pretend: I promise, I'm more than okay with you gently asking me to repeat a word or a phrase. Asking for clarification is not rude; it's a sign of respect.

Make Eye Contact: This helps you read facial expressions and body language, giving you valuable clues. The effort my old boss put in, quietly following my lip movements, showed me the level of care that makes all the difference!

Try Other Ways to Communicate: If speaking is too challenging, we can use a pen and paper or even your phone's notes app. This approach makes it a fun challenge instead of an awkward moment. For more ways to adapt, you can check out the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) Guide on communication strategies.

Recap and Your Next Step

My journey with dysarthria has taught me that my voice is a gift, no matter how it sounds. It may be different now, but it is still mine. The key to successful Dysarthria Communication lies in shared effort, patience, and refusing to settle for the silent nod.

For more practical strategies on managing communication, you can read my article on [Playing Charades: Communication Tips for Dysarthria] (internal link).

Remember: your story matters, and your willingness to put in the effort to be understood—and to understand—is the first step toward a world where we can all be heard.

When you feel unheard, which strategy helps you the most to regain control of the conversation?

0%Writing or typing the key word(s) down. ✍️
0%Moving the conversation to a quieter environment. 🤫
0%Using a clear hand gesture to say "wait."